fourtwentyoneam

use your imagination.

drained. i feel drained right now. almost weak, but not quite it feels like a steady high. hahaa, overstand me? i'm your favorite melody, you can't seem to get rid of me. i see you. you are reality. if theres ONE thing i know as good as my body, it's his body. ladies, ladiessssss stop being ladies. diante said he feels cold energy coming from me, that high night. my hands are usually cold--cold hands make a warm heart, my mom says. but cold energy, sadness/inadequacy, maybe i don't completely know. what kind of fuckery are you? i feel fine now though.. almost as if a huge weight has been lifted off of my body. like when you're swimming under water and everything is still, beauty. theres isn't a right or wrong, because ethics mean as much to me and they did to the person who created them, and still "break the rules." please save it. save whatever judgements you may try to pass on me, because i've stated the type of person i will forever be, a little earlier than expected. they say "college will be the best years of your life" and "college is where you find yourself." well i know grad students who STILL don't know who the fuck they are, and are constantly searching within their bedsheets with new women nightly, but i don't judge. i'm not calling anyone out, because there is no meaning to our actions. we act on impulse, thats all i know.

.high ultimate the am I

please, you can't cut me with your words any longer. or shoot me with anymore lies. i promise you, i am not the person you imagine me to be. or maybe i've dreamt up this other you and thats who i want to see. i want to tell you about life and its deceit, but i can't. i used to love hard. i did. but it hurts now. knowing as much as i know hurts. it's so hard to tell reality from anything fictitious anymore. i swear you will have trouble sleeping. my days are going by entirely to fast and weight is the least of my worries. balance, you understand? i need balance please.

what means the world to you?