primped to kill. dressed to thrill.

i can't ever really know whats going on, so it shouldn't bother me. ya know, not being able to figure anything out. this is my blog and i've been writing about pain alot and fear of commitment.... i guess. i'm almost sure those arent my main targets. people are safes. pad locked and wraped with 20 lbs of chains in lies. but, i decipher people almost down to the T. i know their future actions and how they'll affect me, and stunt my progression. i've been evolving. i am evolving. people ask be a million and twelve things about how i became who i am now, or whoever i will be, and i always answer by saying "my life is changing". they're almost too dumb to grasp what i mean. throughout my journey, on gaia (mother earth...?), i've met some of the best people. recently i met this man, age doesn't exist, he's from the UK and i appreciate him. have you ever met someeone who's energy was completely compatible? he and eye are a congenial combination. of course i didnt make the tragic mistake of falling for this man. i'm free. he understands i don't belong to anyone and noone belongs to me. we float through life ...thassit.

he said, "ms mckenzie, if i dont see you tomorrow morning me and you cease to exist." do i get a rebuttal? fuck it. i loved you first, remember that. i may be on a high horse now because i'm surrounded by so much love, but baby i loved YOU first. and we both were lonely at times, people get lonely. you and i both know much to well about being alone. everyone has had their firsts with me.. i was your first for a couple of things things things i never would consider doing in the mental condition i'm in now. schools fine. i love my friends. my dick is bigger than yours. and i will always make you feel like shit each time you think of me.

i don't play well.

i want this to be an expierence. this will feel like your first high; like you're soaring through the skies. but, a bit milder. today, i decided i was going to be a genius. i'm the meanest, and i mean this. tell me-- tell me what you thought when you first glanced my way. let my words subdue you, you you. i'm sorry i haven't been updating as often as you'd like me to. believe me, i have thought about it. i've just been livingggggggggg!!!

XD
suck on that.