baby when i used to love you...

I don't completely understand why you'd want me back. I'm evil and I've been called a bitch a numerous amount of times, and I've accepted that. People don't get any worse than this. I'm not the one to compare myself to a heartbreaker, but if the shoe fits... You constantly find me, via myspace, cell (call/text), aim-- all of these devices which are supposed to link us make me want to drift away from you. You say I "walk around like your shit don't stink, IT DOES!" well baby I know alot of people who think otherwise. STOP TELLING ME YOU LOVE ME, HOW MUCH YOU NEED ME/WANT ME BACK. It's unbearable to think of, all the shit I put you threw but you choose me?! Of all the ladies in the world, and you'd want ME back?? I know I'm completely invested in myself, and I'm young and selfish like that but let me live. Let me be able to live out my mistakes, allow me to take chances. I want to fuck up. I want to be put in a life threatening position. I need to take the risk, so the fall can change me. I need you to understand that "I am not broken, please don't fix me". Molding me won't make me happy, and baby I know you want me happy, but first you need to learn to accept. I am forever in your debt, you showed me how to grow. You were the one who opened my eyes, and without noticing I allowed you to take full control. I am now blind and I need time to regenerate. Needing time away from you is all I can think of, but the amount of hurt I will feel is going to consume me. You wanting me back would be a waste of time and a huge mistake. I want you happy and free from my flaws. You bruised me. For my current state of jade, to whom it shall not be named; I'll love you forever.


- Je ne suis pas fini. =\