a subway to venus...

Thought what I wanted was something I needed. When mama said "NO!" then I just should've heeded.

My soul is weary. I guess I do have morals. -said you'd be there for me-I've found a way to resist temptation. I'm a sagittarius so it's a bit hard, it's extremely hard. let me love you--

INTOXICATING

He's like my personal brand of cocaine... I'll wait, i usually don't wait though, i need to learn to hold compulsure. my Sun God did say im very spotaneous-- Sun God; hes now ready for me yet =[... At any rate, i'm always the one to rush into situations -- we'll call it. and if you KNOW me, as i believe you do, then you know i never give people time. as soon as i'm single i feel like i need to belong to someone, as if i need someone to hold me at night, in need of someone to feel the void of you. i have that now. not temporarily... if you feel like i feel please let me know that its real? I just cant be with no oone else-- there has been times when i've wondered why i'm with you, noone's hurt me more than you. i used to live for you, i thought. so many chances, i just didnt understand why i KEPT LETTING YOU BACK INNNNNN. digressss........ soooo, he doesnt like onions and i happen to cook with onions. hes tall, and im extremely short, i sometimes watch him in his sleep, precious dark skin tone... sweetest thing i've known. "at long last love has arrived, and i thank God i'm alive" he makes me happy, he doesnt realize it yet, he will. i smile alot for no reason at all around him. if he saw me when i was crazy bitter then he'd notice the change. time is moving so fast down here, i miss nyc so much. im always anxious for the evenings, thats when we spend most of our time together. --where were YOU when i needed you?-- he's so far away sometimes, just so hard to read. his stares and size is what makes me yern during the day. our love is strong. im so soft man, like i never wanted to get like this again. got me blogging about this shit. **sigh** now that i found you stay. i come back home smelling like you, you're straight occuppying my thoughts. and most times i love to hard-- i'm not as open as i know i can be, but when we get there i'll love you. trust in me.

cant take my eyes off of you - lauryn hill; that totally describes me right now. =\

i know i need to edit this OD...but i wont