these girls are trying to be queens

the revolution is near. we're sick of trying to be tough. we used to think you had the power to tear our hearts away. we are slowly getting our conciousness back and becoming more aware of this world full of poems and paintings. i guess this means we're through, or it means we're breaking. keep an eye on him. just look what he's done, just look. it feels alright sometimes, and i keep repeating this as my thoughts get deeper. hundred lights flash through the paking lot, a hundred lights on me, a hundred different fires, a hundred different passions. you'd think i was scared, i'd rather be young. follow your ambitions. follow that record's tune. follow follow follow. my brain elapses sometimes. what do you think now? what will you think when you see me? when i'm sick, when i'm dead, when i forget, will you forget? never forget. i'm losing everything.

i know this world is changing. i'm aware of everything as long as my eyes give me sight. women of the world, so amazing. be afraid. be afraid. be afraid. fear nothing. i fear nothing. these girls are trying to be queens, they do not know we are goddessess. beautiful melanites so beautiful shades of browns. hair in coils, kinks, like strength. you people work so hard for it to be straight. you mutiliate your scalps. you hate yourselves. but fuck you for hating it. fuck you for this tom foolery, this trickery, this mental trap, this. i love us. i love us more than you can imagine.

the stars are alive

this is a letter to the men i've loved. it's not in proper letter format, i know. but this is for you. as a fast lover, i never wanted to love fast. never thought i'd be the one to anyway. you came to me, wounded and half filled, with promises you only kept half the time. goodbye. we possibly met through mutual friends, the internet, off the street, in a club/lounge/bar, on a train, in front of my school, on my campus, je ne sais pas. but you left a massive indellible mark in my life some how. most of you have weak minds. you found a girl like me who opened you up, completely for the most part, and i made you less vunerable to others. most of you hate me now. i don't completely understand why but its probably for some petty shit. for some of you, i wish i never met you. i wish i never crossed your path. because for some of you, there's only one of me [get it?] and you are not healthy for me. this is the last time i will ever see you again. i am trying to leave my past behind, i've never tried that but if you do it the right way i was told it can be gone forever. tetrahydrocannabinol, or however you spell it, has been my friend for some time now. it has filled the voids of you and therefore left me empty at times, or stuck, or even in the clouds. i've floated since you've left-- you always leave. i can't even remember a time where it was my decision to leave. i tend to do that though, i sometimes start petty situations to make you want to leave. sometimes i had the few who didn't want to leave at all, the few to thought they can stand my wrath/my breaking out or through the cages you've put me in. but i live. i need to live so i don't disappeear inside. i know thats what you wanted, you want me to disappear even a little so that i'll be easier to tame. aside from that we've probably fucked so you also love the way my vagina feels. there were times when you've tried and succeeded to verbally abuse me. you'd say "fuck you" and shit like "i'm a whore" or some other bullshit and i'd stay quiet.. because me yelling back at you won't solve anything and i realized that even before you thought you had the upperhand. you see, you fucking forgot i have a brother and he talks shit all the time. he even schooled me on allllll the shit yall niggas do so i'm definately not new to the bullshit your pushin. i'm content though. there's nothing else i can be. i know of your sleeplessness and your stress; it's all bull. because half of you created all the issues we've ever had. yall know i don't stress anything except for the obvious breakup reasons [i.e cheating] but to you it's everything i do or don't do. i had someone like you already, so i know how to deal; i know how to play passive and meet your needs... or wants for the most part. half of you never let go of your mothers tit; you still have hers and now you have mine so you feel like you need to be comfoted by both but I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER. i used to love you. i did. and when i love, i love hard boy, you know it. but i began to fall, and they say what? "you fall even harder" and when you mess with someone like me you fall hard, and you miss me 100x more, and you call 20x more but i just save your name as IGNORE yes in caps, and i do just that 20x more. look, tonight i want you to look out your window and look for 3 stars and name all of them after me.

sincerely, the nicest: Isis.

danger's at her finger tips

whores.

there's no better word. i just dont understand why we have sooo many adjectives if "only God can judge." this is absurd. these words make me feel berated, belittled, deficient, unsubstantial, subordinate -- limited. my brain cannot function in this environment where by every where i turn i am constantly being judged. its these fucking agjectives that is going to make the universe crash. i hate you. you stupid adjective. we're so fucked up that we even categorized the terms we use to judge ourselves; adjective. i woke up and felt like the world -- my world caved in. whore seems to be the only word i can think of where there is no specific word to describe a man. get it? there's promiscuous, but thats just to broad. extremely to broad. i fuck. and i love to fuck. i believe i'm a dude when it comes to fucking. "so she treats em like she treats em, better them than me.."