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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Father Time

Count your belssings.


I want you to have more faith in me. I want nothing I need. I want convincing. I want to be surrounded by negative people, so I'll be forced to look for the positive ones. I want to live. And I want to love, unconditionally.

Strong? Not enough. more than half my energy goes into pleasing everyone, which I do so well i might add. This facade I put on is annoying. &&if i didnt have it what will my other half hold? God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; ccourage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. There is no room for flaws, abslutely no room for pleasure. This is the long road, and you either roll with it and stick it out or you die, no easier way to put it. You must, and I mean this sincerely, must know who you are and stand your grounds. You're stronger than you believe, and more capable than most. I have faith in you; as I do all my friends but you the most because you... you don't believe.

I honestly thought I couldn't figure you out, but I did. I really did. I know what your going through, I cannot help you escape but all I can do is pray, and ask my man to pray. idk what else you'll need besides a little push because you're not taking our guidance. All we can ask for is time. Time should do the body good. Father Time please, with all generosity, give us more time.yeah yeah I understand the shit emerson wrote about nature and shit like that... time waits but not for mankind. you numbers up and it's spared, so fuckin what have mercy on us, a little sympathy, better yet EMPATHY would be better. Then maybe you understand can actually grasp what it's like to fill in shoes that are 20 times your size. I truly thought I had you down to a T. But I can't make you wait, just promise me you won't give up; not even on the ones who've given up.



- Amen?

Thursday, December 25, 2008

merry Christmas to all

i've everything i've ever wanted.




and one of them moves ;]

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

FUCK THE FRAIL SHIT - SMR

I've been through it. There's nothing anyone else can say to convince me otherwise. I know of your heartaches, pains, crying in the shower WHATEVERR ELSE, I'm not ignorant to it. I've had 5 years since virgin eyes escaped. I'm not immune to these scars but I am used to them. I've no knowledge of a cure but just stay away from them. Their a cult, a bad habit, personal heroin if you have one. You already know what it is, no need for me to justify.

I've held the truth. Embraced it's thrusts. Heard it's lies. And settled for less. Life goes the fuck on ladies. Get over yourselves. I'm stuck. But you... you can prosper. My mistakes-- let them be my mistakes. I doubt I need you to point out my faults and flaws. And if you believe in me enough I bet you can imagine me in a better place than where I am now. I don't need your pity. I'm actually glad, no longer morbid-- no longer reminiscing about the yesterdays, and last years we've spent. During my youth, when I didn't know you, when I've never encountered you.

You. I love you dearly darling I do. But I haven't quite grasped what any of my thoughts mean.







[*] you'd never guess.