quarantine your dreams

i'm a story-teller. i believe in mistakes and i believe in rewriting your mistakes. i hate this feeling i get sometimes when my world crashes. it's like heaven and hell, or the little we know about it, colliding and fireworks everywhere. its a horrible feeling. like right now i feel like exploding--i feel like i can't control anything at all and for the most part my little ass can't, but i sure as hell try. i need to be alone, but i hate being alone. everyone needs someone and i'm young, i can't be with someone now. although i'd like to think i do. i need consistency, which i hate. my sun god told me i wasn't consistent... it's in my nature not to be. i'm an inconsistent little person and i love that. he keeps talking to me about control and how much i want to control him but it seems as if its him that is desperately trying to control me. my fiance keeps saying "whatever" and "bullshit" to me-- what the fuck does whatever have to do with the question i am asking you and what bullshit are you specifically refering to? because i need to know. he's so vague. i know i shouldnt get upset about this shit, but it seems to me atleast, that if they don't want you to themselves (the control) they dont want you at all. then we have the ones that want you, but only for their convience, and i'm all for it i don't mind fucking you and just fucking you. but they tend to get attatched, they begin to forget that thats what they wanted and by you fulfilling that they grow on you and want more, he wants a relationship. one thing i dont believe in is relationships. i dont believe in anythnig that needs a title, except for the ones i make-up. society gets hung up on titles, but i'm not society.

i want to live in a world where people aren't so restricted. i want to live in a world where theres unlimited possibilities. i believe in parallel universes. i believe vermon control the earth, and other worlds we don't know about yet. things are in desperate need of change. i love to travel, i havent left the country often but i know i will. i just need someone to travel with, someone safe and with a mind half as crazy as mine. i dream alot. not in my sleep so much, but i day dream a lot. i like to read alot of DuBois and i like chocolate tall men who like what i like. i love my friends even the new ones i've met. ollie and gabbers are my loves. they don't know i'm sad often because i'm their shoulders to lean on. if you scream loud enough i'm almost sure i'll hear it. i believe in ice cream making everything better.