loveless bedroom filled with doom

i used to be happy. the world seems so very small.

please forgive me. i've been at my lowest point within the past week and i thought i had control... i used to control how i felt; mood changes now, i'm just unstable. it's as if i've lost my center. i remember being completely nonchalant towards everything. life, friends issues, my issues-i thought i had none, clothes. i always read though. so thats what i cared about. you're there and i'm here. i'm stressed. i guess the time is now. its better now than when i'm 38 and still wondering, hay-zeus knows i don't want that. i've been keep secrets from myself. still confused on how to get them out though but i'm trying. you know i'm trying. stuff i've forgotten is probably in there, things that made me smile are probably in there, my lost socks have to be in there, and ideas too. it's hard to create in this state im in. not to sire what i need to do. i'll do what metri said and focus. thats all i can do for now.