as before part. 1

I don't want to ever have to bury my child. I want husband to die first. Something goes on in a mans head when their wife dies first, their entire sense of independence goes out the window and they become an empty vessel. Women are strong in many different ways than physically. We are the backbones of this world and we're the safe harbors of life. Although color may vary, we're essentially the same. When I grow old I would like my grandchildren to remember me as a nonchalant misfit. I want to be remembered as a child who can put her foot in it when she cooks. I want to be remembered as the woman who creates. I want my legacy to live on in my grandchildrens children. Death is of the essence...? I never understood that, but one thing I do understand is time. And our time is running out. Do all you can to be all that you want. Smoke all you want, drink all night, and fuck all day; in the end it was all worth it. Life is shorter now than ever before. People say we're not liberal as we once were-- conservative she calls us. There's shit left to fight for. I feel like im rambling...-- i'll continue this later.