my words don't travel far.

i'm sorry. you should follow my lead, do exactly as i do. i won't say much, but i know your feelings for me grew. i have slight anxiety and it's dealt with tea and a song. it's our love i often write about, are we trying to make it lifelong? hmph, see i'm trying to rhyme and it's going all wrong-- how much i miss you, she said how much i miss you... passing you by a thousand times telling you a thousand lies. it's easy when there's nothing to lose, when eye had nothing to lose. i've been so tactless that i've forgotten to love. i've forgotten the minor things in all relationships weighs out the major things and i'd rather read your poem than suck your dick. so you see, the situation changes and our attitudes fluctuate. i have been placed under this spell of amnesia and with you back in my life, i am more blindly optimistic. Almost positively sure everything works out for the better used to ease my sorrows. the way your face lights up when you see me used to ease my sorrows. covering my body with over a hundred kisses used to ease my sorrows. weed used to ease my sorrows. hell, i bet if i called you back immediately after every time i hung up--- i shouldn't hang up. maybe i should be as docile as you want me to be. i think about it when you grow aggravated. i consider toning down, but i'd rather not. i will. I've lost the ego when i decided to give my all in this relationship. i decided he's more important than my pride and all of that bullshit because shit like that blinds you. it helps you forget. it loves when you forget. the ego is always in search for acceptance, it always needs to be fed. this is why we continuously ask for attention. although, during that moment in life when you're stumped about who you are and where you're going, as soon as all boundaries crumble you will be amidst chaos. due to the chaos, you are afraid of losing the ego. in order to break this cycle you must be daring, therefore the confusion period which caused the chaos will be short. if you live in fear, you will revert and hide behind your ego. i've been over this life so many times before, this life is a bore. i'm sorry, he says. he is an asshole. apologies should be kept away for when you kick me while you walk past me to get to the couch, or for when you make my tea too sweet. apologies are short excuses that i'd rather not have in my life. apologies should be locked away. apologies only work if there's head immediately after. when you apologize you have intentions on doing it again. if you didnt mean it you wouldnt have done it to begin with.